Life after an abusive relationship

I was in a 15 year relationship,married for 5. The first time I was physically abused because my then boyfriend got jealous that some guy who I’ve never seen before was looking at me,he popped me the face bursting my lips and yes he was drinking but didn’t remember not one detail the next day. My first mistake then was to forgive and not report him to the police,and so that was perceived as a sign of weakness.in the years to follow I’ve been choked,kicked, had hot tea poured on me,pushed out ofa moving vehicle,none of which I reported. You asked why didn’t I report him to the police,well I’m jamaican and you just don’t do that. Who made that rule I know want to know. Maybe someone need to tell the abuser also because once I decided I got the guts to stand up for myself which scared him his first instinct is to call the police only it wasn’t becausei hit him but because he could not find his car keys. What a joke you mean all this time you were that weak,all this time I was your beating post and the momenti raised my voice a little too high you’re scared.
Well I had conquered the physical abuse now I had to identify the emotional and mental abuse and take that into control,that was not as easy though.
During all these years I had gotten severely depressed,my fibromyalgia had gotten worst and my need for my husband was there and he knew it. So what better time to show his power than to leave,he got himselfa new apartment with his new girlfriend and left all the bills with me. Then after realizing how vulnerable I was he decided he would Keep me tagging along by telling me we will work it out. That had me going for awhile until a confrontation with his new girlfriend put a stop to that. His new girlfriend who had unbeknownst to me stalked my facebook page for a year, befriended me and befriended my high school group so she could report anything I did or say to my husband. Well now I became pissed and I was doing the confrontation and of course the bully was the one saying he was afraid and when he filed and could not receive the domestic voilence redtraint order, he filed a stalking order and received temporary order until the judge could speak to me.
By then it didn’t matter to me because before he filed for those orders I had already found in me the strength to call it quits no matter what and had told him so.
So now I live on the verge of being evicted from my apartment, not a penny to my but I’m not being abused anymore,and thru my many prayers, I believe God will see me thru this one way or the other. Yes there are times where I cry allot and where I want to commit suicide. This is why I’ve decided to write, I don’t know who sees this but at least it isa relief to get it off my shoulders. And if this is being read by anyone being abused don’t hesitate to call the police because the minute they get the chance to use the police to protect themself they will use it and by doing so it might be just to cover up what they can do to you.

Until next time stay safe and be strong.